The Mommy Tsunami

I got tagged by @dadunmasked, the author of DadUnmasked!, to complete a 25 questions meme. I’ll make an attempt to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth (as did DadUnmasked). Here goes nothing…

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you. James Dean, baby!

2. Where was your first kiss? In an alley in the neighborhood I grew up. He COMPLETELY stuck his ENTIRE tongue down my throat! Ewwwwwwwwwwwww.  Thankfully, I have since recovered and I now thoroughly enjoy the fine art of kissing.  *sigh*

3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property? Nope.

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? Yes.  My ‘roid raging, football playing ex boyfriend from college.  Right in the chin.

5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? Yes.  In musicals, on stage.  I love the stage. Love the spotlight. It’s an addiction.  Oh, btw, it’s not that I’m a great singer.  Just a performer.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about your preferred sex? 1. Sense of Humor, 2. Smile, 3. Intelligence (then, sometimes, @ss…)

7. What really turns you off? Um…boogers?

8. What do you order at Starbucks? Venti Earl Grey Tea, with Honey and Skim Milk

9. What is your biggest mistake? Soooooo many. Where do I begin?  Maybe, not forgiving myself for my mistakes???

10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? Hurt myself? Or hate myself?

11. Say something totally random about yourself. My eyes change colors.

12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? When I was younger…Rosie Perez, Mariah Carey, Minnie Driver.

13. Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows? Love Pixar Studios, most Disney movies.  I’ve even grown fond of the Happy Monster Band.  And who doesn’t love Sesame Street and the Muppets?

14. Did you have braces? No.

15. Are you comfortable with your height? Yes. I’m 5′7″. That’s pretty good for a chick.

16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the preferred sex has done for you? Romance? What’s that?

17. When do you know it’s love? I’m not sure anymore.  And I’m not being cynical or angry.  I just don’t know.

18. Do you speak any other languages? Lil’ bit of Spanish.

19. Have you ever been to tanning salon? Yes.  Hey, I was a high school girl once. ONCE.

20. Have you ever ridden in a limo? No.

21. What’s something that really annoys you? People who can’t forgive. Or people that “tattle tale.”  Sooooo annoying.  Put on your big kid undies! Sheesh!!!

22. What’s something you really like? Fruit.  Yum.

23. Can you dance? Oh yeah, baby.

24. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? Yes. Car accidents. Bleh.

25. Tag 5 people. I can’t. It’d be wrong. I’m sooooo horrible at these.  How could I put this pressure on someone else?

I have been writing for more than 1/2 a year.  Well, truth been told, I’ve been writing for almost my whole life.  I am 33.  That’s a lot of years.  But, I have not consistently been someone updating my blog (depending on what you consider consistent)…or even someone with a consistent personality or steady life online.

However, in the last couple of weeks, I’ve been doing a bunch of self-reflection…who am I?  Why am  I here (here online), and how can I make my life and my FUTURE better?

Maybe I’ve struck my own personal chord.  Maybe I’ve finally reached my limit of lack of direction.  I feel good.  I feel like I know where I am going, or at least where I am heading…I am heading towards happiness.

On this journey, I am joyful for those that have encourage me prior to this clarity and for those who are supporting me now…

Some of this support is through BLOG AWARDS that I have recently been…well, awarded.

From The Princess Jenn, most recently…

The aims of this award:
• As a dedication for those who love blogging activity and love to encourage friendships through blogging.
• To seek the reasons why we all love blogging!

Here are the rules of the award:
• Put the award in one post as soon as you receive it.
• Don’t forget to mention the person who gives you the award.
• Answer the award’s question by writing the reason why you love blogging.
• Tag and distribute the award to as many people as you like.
• Don’t forget to notify the award receivers and put their links in your post.

Ahhhhh…The Princess Jenn.  At one point in my life, the larger than life personality with whom I was afraid to enter into a tiny chat convo. A host of the Blog Her At Home event this past summer, at which I discovered some of besties and at which I discovered so much more about myself.  I was home, a mom, a chick and ALONE.  But, after meeting the most amazing women EVAH, I am no longer alone.  And also more confident online AND IRL.  Thank you, Princess Jenn, for being there for just BEING.

Why do I love blogging? Because I love words. Because I love to write. Because in some way I guess I am an exhibitionist of life. Because I want someone to validate my existence. Because I am afraid of being alone. Because I have found so much camaraderie here on the web, yo. Because on here, I am The Mommy FCUKING Tsunami.  And that’s the coolest I’ve ever been.

To whom I bestow the honor of this award: I do not bestow easily.
@MasMom of JadedPerspective. Because I don’t know too many people that are as honest and open about their life as is she.
@MochaDad of MochaDad. Because I envy his consistency and his social activism in making blogging a tool for making a better life.  At least, that’s what he is to me.  He is an inspiration of positivity.

From @KnowMeLoveME from Chantelligence.com

“This award is bestowed on to blogs that are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers.

Deliver this award to eight some bloggers who must choose eight some more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.”

Those who deserve the friend award:
@PrincessJenn of Princess Prose. Because this woman is amazing.  Brazenly honest, truly a woman of integrity.  I am honored to know her.
@dadunmasked from DadUnmasked. Because this dude is cool as shit.  He really just is himself and is there when you *ahem, I* need him.

From Angelia_t and PaciGraveyard

Honest Scrappers Blog

Here’s how it works: 1. Present this award to 7 some others whose blogs you find brilliant in content and/or design or those who have encouraged you. 2. Tell those people they’ve been awarded the HONEST SCRAP AWARD and inform them of these guidelines in receiving the award. 3. Share “10 honest things” about yourself.

Oh. crap. Here we go…TEN HONEST THINGS ABOUT MYSELF…

1.  I have spent a lot of my life worrying about what other people think about me.  The other day, a co-worker of mine stated that after he figured out how much of his life he spent commuting, that he realized he had spent 1 FULL month of his life in his car (out of the last two years).  Yeah.  It sucks.  But, I could probably do the same formula to figure out that I’ve done the same thing with worrying.  But, no longer.

2.  I desperately want to be a leader.  I don’t mean president, or a manager, or an administrator or ANYTHING like that…I mean  a social activist.  An inspiration.  A visionary.  I. love. the. underdog.  One day I will champion a cause.

3.  I have a hard time believing I am special. To anyone.  Minus my children.  I know that I matter to them because they were made in my womb.  That makes me the bomb, hands down…at least to them.

4.  I want to be in LOVE.  Real, real love.  I think I know I have a soulmate.

5.  I’ve never had a huge circle of friends (girlfriends).  At least until now.  Until twitter and blogging.  And I’m not ashamed of that.  Because I am the most myself with you all and the most I’ve been accepted since…well, since I can remember.

6.  I rock the boat.  Too much sometimes.  That can cause a HUGE issue for me, with work relationships and especially AUTHORITY  *cough, bosses, cough*.

7.  I don’t have great follow through.  I KNOW!  So HARD to BELIEVE!  <end sarcasm />

8.  I spend a lot of time worrying about failing.

9.  I am writing more every day/week/month.  I am currently TRYING to write a screenplay and I have an idea for a book. It’s hot.  Trust me.  And I think I’ll Nia Vardalos the screenplay and just play the lead role myself.

10.  I am the creator of Intentional Happiness 365.  It’s been a complete week as of right now. And, I kid you not, it’s WORKING.

AWARDED TO…
@TheRealBecks from Life Out of Focus. She’s REALLY hot.  Like…wait a minute…DAMN! She’s been awarded this already!
@SWilderTaylor of Baby On Bored. Ok.  This woman doesn’t even KNOW that I exist.  But I find her to be amazing.  BRUTALLY honest.  Honestly funny.  She also has twins (which makes her have a superwomb, like me) and cracks jokes about having 84 children (much like I do also).  Anyway, she’s cool.  Her stories show that she’s not afraid of being metaphorically naked in front of her audience.  And I like writers that aren’t afraid of nudity. Did I mention she probably has NO IDEA that I exist? But, that’s cool.  She influences me.
@angelia_t from Mommy Needs Meds. DAMMIT!!  She’s been awarded this also.  However, she’s honest about her life and what she deals with on a daily basis.  Okay.  She blogs when she can.  But WHEN she blogs…watch out! *wink, wink*

And I’m out.

“It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.” –Dale Carnegie

My intentional happiness pursuit is all in the ‘tude.  Forget that the average day is…well, average…How mundane is the mundane? Of course the average day is average! And if I thought about that, if I choose to dwell on that, well,  I will live a life of quiet desperation.  Instead, I choose to live a life of loud happiness.  At least for these 365 days.  And, hopefully the choice will become ingrained in my DNA and will no longer be a choice but a way of life.

Today is a completely average day.  Ugh.  But I am choosing happiness.  Despite the blah weather, grey skies, empty mall, hungry stomach… Actually it’s kind of funny if you think about it… 

Laughter.  I know that laughter is going to play a huge part in my year of happiness.  

I’ve also found, through discussing my current journey with a friend, this website. http://tv.philosophersnotes.com/28/the-how-of-happiness-episode-2

I hope you enjoy this! I’ll be checking in later.

LOVE & HAPPINESS, because I CHOOSE it!!!

My life has been crazy. CUH-RA-ZEE to say the least, in the last month or two…up and down. Side to side. Boat rocking, jet lagging life experiences. So, now I choose happiness. Not just today, but EVERY DAY. For at least a year. Hey, to make something part of your character, you must first make it part of your habits. To make something a habit…practice it, practice it, practice it…

Today, I CHOOSE HAPPY.

My boss is freaked out. Most of my colleagues are freaked out. I am on day one of my journey; it is early morning. Come hell or high water, I am creating my happiness, even if it is out of nothingness. Because I can. Because I will. Because I deserve it. And because what could be more exciting than a journey of happiness?

I think some people think “SOMETHING IS UP.” I think some people think a long existed but never disussed multiple personality has shown up.

You know what?

The only thing that has shown up in my life…at least on PURPOSE…is happiness. Because it is my choice.

More LATAH…

2:12 pm- still smiling. People asking a lot of questions. Yes, I am striving to be intentionally happy. Every day. For the next 365 days. No, I do not know what that is going to look like right now. I don’t know if it’s going to be easy. I do know that I’m excited for the ride. I do know for the first time in a long time I am actually looking forward to THIS moment, and not the END of this moment. Or the end of the journey. I’m ready to sit back and enjoy the ride.

I have recently become very interested in law school.  It started with a casual conversation with a co-worker that had decided to retake the LSATs for his admission to law school next fall.

It was innocent enough.  He had no idea the can of worms he was opening.  He didn’t know that I had dreamed of being a lawyer when I was eight, that I would tell all my relatives at family parties that I would be a supreme court justice, that my amazing career in law would lead me to be the first woman president…WHAT??? It’s true.  I was that bold.

And so, he also had no idea that his taking the LSATs would inspire awaken feed the monster in me that lives off of competition and success. Especially in the intellectual arena.  I mean, hey…some people can throw a perfect spiral 70 yards down the field…I can study and pass tests…and argue mad points with insightful support and examples…

So, yesterday, I spent the day at the University of Chicago. After taking a train to Hyde Park, I arrived at the Admissions office excited to just be on campus.  There is always an energy that I can feel when ideas are being generated, spoken, argued, counter-argued–yes, I’m a geek and I’ll stop now–and the energy on this campus was palpable.  I was sent to a first year class–Elements of the Law.  And despite being directed to the wrong class at the right time (I walked into a class almost a full 1/2 hour after it began), I was truly directed to the RIGHT class at the RIGHT time.  The teacher was dynamic.  The students…well maybe still a little young…but I was sitting near a couple of thirty year olds and I’m glad, because at the end of class they STAYED and spoke with me about what they liked about their classes, their professors, the campus and the school over other school options.

Hyde Park itself is a drastic contrast of rich and poor, haves and have nots. But it is also a place of acceptance, ideas, revolution and accomplishment.  The campus itself has a contrast of old and new architecture and despite being in an urban setting, it had a quality of peace and tranquility.

I have a personal passion again.  I don’t know how long it’s been since that has happened.  I know, I have kids, and I love being their mother.  But long before their births, I was a person.  With dreams and passions and hopes and…well, part of her is back.

Part of that woman was lost long ago.  But, maybe, just maybe…she was only in hibernation.

And her mothership is calling her home.

Hi. I’ve been gone awhile. My life is changing. Quite drastically, I might add. But for tonight, I just had to write. I HAD to WRITE. And THIS came out… enjoy…

YOU

remind me of the possibilities of what never was

and yet what could be

you cause me to recollect days when days would never end

when dreams would never end

when love would never end

and because of you these thoughts will never end

you mention that love is a battlefield and your scars are wounds too deep to forget

i want to help you forget

because you help me to remember that i am capable of existing

that love is capable of existing

that hope is capable of existing

yet you are tentative

and to this i will be sensitive

but still have faith

because despite your tentative

i am representative of love deferred

not to be argumentative but my interests you’ve spurred

we sit

we read our favorite poets and words slip off our tongues

falling from lips to ears

as if whispered over pillows and nothingness

and i can only imagine that we are not the only two people sharing this moment

i don’t want to be the only two people sharing this moment

yet despite being surrounded by people no one else is sharing this moment

without touching me your words caresses every hurt every wound every ache away

your eyes look deeper into my nothingness than anyone has ever looked

they were afraid to look

i would not let them look

the still of my soul as you stir it comforts me

and i am reminded of the possibilities of what never was

and yet what could be

I received this meme request from Leigh’s Blog and finally remembered to do it.  I’m not passing it on, but you are welcome to share your answers with us.  Just because I don’t want anyone to feel obligated and/or feel like they’ve disappointed ME like I KNOW I had to have disappointed Leigh!

1. Where is your cell phone? bed
2. Your hair? short
3. Your mother? crazy
4. Your father? funny
5. Your favorite food? cheese
6. Your dream last night? looney
7. Your favorite drink? tea
8. Your dream/goal? happiness
9. What room are you in? bedroom
10. Your hobby? writing
11. Your fear? alone
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? upward
13. Where were you last night? Home
14. Something you aren’t? alone
15. Muffins? pumpkin
16. Wish list item? desktop
17. Where did you grow up? Chicago
18. Last thing you did? ate
19. What are you wearing? sweats
20. Your TV? expensive
21. Your pets? nonexistent
22. Your friends? few
23. Your life? busy
24. Your mood? melancholic
25. Missing someone? Yes
26. Vehicle? suburban
27. Something you’re not wearing? bra
28. Your favorite store? apple
29. Your favorite color? rainbow
30. When was the last time you laughed? now
31. Last time you cried? morning
32. Your best friend? Lana
33. One place that I go over and over? work
34. One person who emails me regularly? Mom
35. Favorite place to eat? Sushi

Received a phone call within four hours of emailing the letter.  Unfortunately, I could not answer the phone because I was conducting an interview… He let me know I could call him back during the next day because he’d be available and in his office all day.  Great!

Then… I also received an email.  From the principal. Apologizing. It was kind of amazing, and if I thought it’d be okay, I’d insert it here…but I don’t want to get in any trouble. So, I’m leaving it at: she apologized.

Now, what do I do next?

Do I leave Joey in the current classroom?  The Superintendent said HE’D place HIS child in this teacher’s classroom.  Hands down, first choice.

OR, do I take Joey out of the classroom and move him to another classroom with another teacher?

Flippin’ flack.

HALP.